Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Where the f**k did that come from! -- 2

i was in a kind of hurry with my last blog entry. While i was in the middle of it Domina text'd me telling me to bring Her anti-anxiety meds to work. i sent it and put some clothes on and grabbed my coffee and phone. i was mostly there and thought i had forgot Her meds. i turned around and realized that i had put them in my jacket pocket. i turned around again, called Her and She came out and got them.

i returned home and of course back here at the computer. Some thoughts i have are:

  1. i have thought about what SRS would mean for me. i really am not interested in surgery to become a girl. i would love to have breasts. If herbs help there i think that would be great. i think having a Mistress Wife who thinks of me as Her wife. Treats me like a girl. Lets me dress and act like a girl. Lets me serve Her. Fulfills my kinks by cuckolding me with a submissive and masculine male, etc really is fulfilling multiple fantasies as well as making for an abundant D/s lifestyle together.
  2. i don't feel like i have gone overboard with it all. i don't feel like its all i think about. i do have lots of other interests. i've been getting into the Dexter series of fiction novels. i have several projects and web projects. i'm learning songs on my guitar. i am always looking for a job. i clean and take care of the house etc. Maybe i bring up feminine things because i haven't really heard that much from Domina about it. i ask "How does this look?" or "Do You like this lipstick on me?" etc from time to time.
  3. Domina feels its never enough for me. That i am never satisfied. i feel so lucky to be who i am and be allowed to be. i don't believe however that life or lifestyles can be placed on autopilot. i see nothing wrong with sometimes suggesting something tactfully or tactfully giving feedback.
It does hurt to see things like these come up. i want to glorify my Owner. i want to put Her on the pedistal. Treat Her as a Queen. Serve Her. Make Her happy. Be Her sissy cuckolded slave girl. Unfortunately W/we are all human too. There is communication involved. Sometimes something one says may be taken wrong.

Anyway, i have another appointment to see my therapist in early March. Domina may go with me on that one. i do feel the Wellbutrin medication is helping me for depression. i don't worry like i used to. Things don't get to me like they did before. W/we just have to tackle this latest thing.



No comments: