Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Where the f**k did that come from!

i'm sorry, i don't normally use words like the above but i am flabbergasted! Everything has been going fine. Domina has been commenting on how great things have been going and how W/we haven't had a fight for months, how She prefers me as a girl, etc. i was putting Her to bed and W/we were doing the normal small talk before She was going to bed. She actually went to bed a little early to read Her book. i was telling Her about the Dexter book i was close to finishing. Then She mentioned that with the longer weekend this weekend that She was thinking of making this a longer kidless weekend.

Suddenly a thought popped into my head. i said,"i think it would be a turn on if sometimes You would tell me that for the weekend i would not be allowed to wear anything but skirts..." She then cut me off and frankly its hard to remember all that was said but here are the areas i remember:
  1. Its all i talk about
  2. She is afraid that i am going to want a sex change
  3. I (Domina) is never enough for me. i continually want more
  4. For Her to make an order like that is silly because i have been dressing girly anyway
Really the words She used and the way it came across caused me to think that She was ashamed of me. It was like these feelings and thought had been all bottled up and now She was telling me how She felt about it all. i felt pretty emotional. i tore my pretty pj shirt off. Buttons flew off. i was really frustrated here. i believed that She enjoyed me, loved me, etc as Her sissy girl.

With my actions She commented that here i have been donig good for a month. i couldn't hear all She said because i was filling the humidifier with water. i do that every night when i put Her to bed.

When i came back into the bedroom the talk continued. i told Her that i was not fighting. i tried to tell Her how i felt. i tried to explain that all i was trying to do was just mention what might turn me on just as any lover would suggest that this or that felt better or why don't we try this position or that.

W/we left the evening pretty ok and kissed and said goodnight.

i woke up this morning with Her on the bed working with Her computer. She had a problem with alleged viruses. i think She surfed a website that tells you it found all these viruses.

i helped Her with that then She started in with last night telling me she felt out of sorts with it or something. Then it went into an argument when i tried to explain that it was just something i mentioned innocently like a anyone would. Lets try this or that. She started crying saying She is never enough.

Domina put it like letting me be a girl or dress etc is such a stressful thing for Her. i told Her that She said She was happy with everything yesterday and i just mentioned one thing. It turned into another fight.

i just don't understand this!


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