The last day of November, 2008

It was a very nice weekend!

Friday morning at about 5am leopet woke me up to tell me that Domina wanted me to go to Home Depot and pick up an artificial Christmas tree that was on the Black Friday sale. i called Her and She said that Home Depot didn't open til 6:00. At 6:20 She text'd me and told me to get over there because there will be a line. i headed over there and stood in line till 6. i got in there and got the tree. By the time i checked out a couple minutes later all of them had been sold. Whew!

i went back to bed and then got up around 9am and went down to Overland Park and picked up some things at Microcenter, 1/2 price book store and Super Walmart.

W/we all of U/s except leopet watched Wall-e and enjoyed it. leopet didn't want to watch it because he thought it was too politically correct.

Saturday Domina, Her boy, and leopet went out shopping and left me at home for a break. i got itching to go out so later showered, shaved my legs and all, put on my "big girl bra", panties, Female shirt, girls jeans and girls running shoes and went out and about looking for gifts. i found the camera i was looking for Domina's boy and i went to Sally's Beauty Supply to get hair color for Domina and i. The checkout girl asked if i had a Sally's Beauty card and i said yes and i gave it to her and left.

Saturday night W/we watched Tom Hanks in Bachelor Party. teehee!

Sunday It snowed today! Today W/we did some Christmas decorating and Domina wanted me to take boychild and get out of the house at 4:00pm because Her footslave was coming over for play. We left and went to Border's books where we got some gifts as well as hot chocolate and coffee. W/we then went to Super Walmart for some shopping and groceries. Then we went to Sally's again to get some more hair solution for Domina. She called me and told me the coast was clear and to come home. i also picked up some nail polish for Domina and myself. We got home and i grilled some hamburgers and W/we watched Dexter. i painted Domina's toes a very dark red and painted all my nails and pretty color called "Jetstream" which is a kind of pink/purple sparkle. i think a pretty color. i put Domina to bed then cleaned up the kitchen. She has a list of things for me to do including hanging more decorations and shampooing the carpet.

Domina's sub boyfriend bear is returning tomorrow. She is really looking forward to his return!

sissy girl

Its been a very nice weekend!

Tuesday November 25th 2008

Its been awhile since i've blogged anything. Since all the drama a couple weeks ago things have been going pretty good. i saw a psychiatrist who was referred to by my therapist for medication management. my appointment was for 9:45am the other morning. i had mapped out the way with google maps but about 15 minutes before i needed to be there Domina called and told me to bring Her extra cell phone battery. i grabbed it and dashed over to Her workplace. i had tried to call Her on the way over there but couldn't get an answer. i ran through this big store and finally found Her. Then i got in the car and ended up getting lost in a neighborhood and finally found the place. i had passed it when i first entered the neighborhood!

i waited awhile to see the doctor and finally a petite Pakistani woman greeted me and led me into her office. She asked me to tell Her the situation. i explained that i am in a non-traditional marriage. That my Wife is head of household - the Mistress. i am Her sissy slave, etc. i had been told by my therapist that she is open to alternative lifestyles.

i further explained that i was seeing the therapist and her because of anger and depression problems. That sometimes out of the blue Domina and i would be talking about something and it would erupt in an argument. That i find it hard to let it go. That certain things like tools and such are hard to find because family members don't return them to places where they are stored seem to trigger bad feelings in me that seem to have something to do with the arguments. i told her that the last thing i want to do as a sissy girl is to argue with my Mistress.

She prescribed Wellbutrin for my depression feeling that the depression may be the underlying cause for it all. She said it would kick in in about 2 weeks.

i thanked her and left and picked up the medication.

Right after the argument W/we had before i had done what i had done before. i removed all my nail polish, jewelry and bra and put on men's clothes. i also went online and deleted my Ds Discussion site as well as several other sites i had on my server. i also deleted my flickr account and other online accounts. i told Domina of this and She told me i always have done that before and not to do it again. She told me to put on my nail polish as pink as possible as well as my jewlery (slave anklet, another anklet, fairy ring). She told me i will wear a bra at all times. my training bra when boychild is at home, at my parents, and when i get a job and my "big girl bra" at all other times.

She told me to put up my Ds Discussion site again, http://bimpie.no-ip.com/~discuss
i did that. Its pretty new but it does have a forum area for discussing the various lifestyles, a gallery, file exchange, chat board, and of course articles and stories.

Domina told me that i do not have permission to delete anything like that again without Her permission.

bear, Domina's submissive and lover had taken an adventure out of country to New Zealand. he has been gone for the last couple weeks and She has really missed him.

Domina told me today that She is dropping one of Her subs that comes over occasionally. Its just taking too much of Her time.

Last week Domina acquired a foot slave that has a hug foot fetish. he is into humiliation but is not ready to have others around. So Domina told me to run some errand while he was gone. i did and arrived home as he was passing me on the street. Domina came downstairs all happy and feeling good. She really enjoyed it!

Another matter that caused tension was the other night Domina received an email from bear who was having some insecurities after hearing that She had been playing with other subs. Hearing that i told Domina that he should be told that when You receive emails from him Your face lights up and he makes You happy. She couldn't understand why the submissives can be insecure. i said that i can see why She couldn't because the Mistress is wanted by everyone but the submissives yearn to be with Her. This got a bit tense and i ended up emailing Her that i thought that W/we should be able to discuss lifestyle issues without tension. W/we did talk awhile after that.

Things are going pretty well now. i am feeling better and better :)

sissy girl

Relief

This morning Domina came home from work for Her lunch break and told me that W/we were going to talk at 1:30pm when She gets off work. All morning i thought about it of course and took Titus O/our Westie out to the Parkville river park for a looong walk (4 miles). i really did pray that there would be a positive outcome to all of this drama really.

Domina came home and W/we talked about it all. The conflict is that when i bring up a problem She believes i want the answer immediately. Domina prefers taking a problem and thinking it through before giving Her answer on many things. Also the level of importance of a given problem may be a different level in Her eyes than mine.

i agreed that i will work on being more sensitive to Her needs/feelings in these matters.

W/we talked about the lifestyle too. i feel positive that things are improving.

sissy girl

Drama continues

i slept horribly last night. When Domina and Her son came home from wherever they went straight to their bedrooms. leopet the same. At some point during the night i remembered that the alarm clock on my side of the bed was probably not turned to alarm so i swiftly went into the bedroom while Domina was there reading and set it.

i went to sleep but woke up at about 2am. Then about 5 and so on.

i finally got up at about 7 and got online and did my unemployment. i then went and took a shower. i took off all my jewelry except my necklace. i just don't feel so girly now.

Domina came in at about 8:08am and saw Her son off to school then went up stairs for Her lunch break. She came back down at about 8:44 and said that we are going to talk at about 1:30pm today. i asked Her what we were going to talk about. She said that She thinks that my rages may not be the real problem but a symptom. She said she thinks the real problem may be our fundamental differences in how we communicate. That i continue to push for answers instead of letting it go. She needs to think about things when presented a problem whereas when I talk i need an immediate answer.

Another thing is that i may regard an issue as more important than She does.

That choosing the time when she is tired and getting ready to take a nap is the wrong time. But i said that she has said the same thing no matter what time of day or day of the week i've approached Her.

She stated that the part time subs come here and reverance Her. But knowing that living with people is different i still shouldnt be arguing all the time. i shouldnt call myself a slave nor submissive.

Domina said things are too tense here.

Then She left for work.

pretty down here

sissy girl

Here i am 9:08pm Nov 17 2008

i took a concern i felt strongly about to my Mistress/Wife. Its not the first time i have done this. i did not intend for it to be a lengthy discussion or an argument. i felt that She did not see the importance of it as i did being a safety issue.

She did finally state that She was going to have leopet correct the problem. At that point i tried to understand how i could better bring future matters to Her without them becoming arguments. i felt that that would avoid future heartbreaks, arguments, whatever. That in itself became worse and worse. How can i let it go! i hate arguments. All i want is a harmonious and safe home where i can serve as a sissy girl to my Mistress!

i was waiting for leopet to come home to help me carry this heavy work bench he made yesterday and i finished and painted today into my office. he just didn't come home. Domina said that the fight made him not want to come home. i went out myself and "man handled" the workbench into the office. i went upstairs and Domina was telling me how i was affecting everything! i went downstairs and tried to call my therapist for help. While i was leaving a message with her answering service Domina came down and took Her son and left.

i then called Domina's submissive girlfriend who has been such help to U/us.

It is really so hard. i really saw Domina as the authority figure in the house but She just isn't into dealing with problems like that. i guess it doesn't work that way here. i thought the way to take care of problems that involved others were to take them to the person in question or to the authority figure but i was wrong. i probably should have either not tried to handle the saw myself or search for the guides.

Domina and Her son finally did come home probably from having dinner somewhere and with paranoia thinking She may have told him future plans.

leopet came home too without saying anything.

Domina's sub girlfriend repeated a few times that i should think about what i need out of a relationship.

Scary stuff for me.

sissy girl

Difficult questions Nov 17 2008

For the last couple weeks i have been working on Domina's laptop. First, i found that the battery was at the end of its life and would not charge anymore. i also found that the power adapter was not making a good connection in the computer and discovered that the jack was bad.

i was working on Her computer on the floor of my office because i really didn't have a better place to work on it. W/we have been planning to make/get a workbench for the office sometime. A couple days ago i asked leopet if he could build one similar to Domina's. Yesterday W/we all went to Home Depot to get the material for it. Last night leopet built it.

Today i finished the workbench by cutting the 2x4s and peg board for it. i felt nervous using the table saw because some of the safety features namely guides and such were missing.

Domina called from work and said She was coming down with a cold or something. i do know how that feels! i got Her some Vicks Nyquil in softgels because She doesn't like liquid and had them on Her night stand.

Domina came home from work and said i did a good job on the backing for the bench and noted the colors etc.

i followed Her up to Her bedroom to make sure She had the medication etc. Then...

i told Her i was nervous using the table saw with the safety attachments missing. i guess i intended to tell Her and thought She would tell leopet to gather them together but it became another argument.

Domina feels that She point out/correct, etc an adult when they create or might commit an unsafe act. i have been trained and brought up to believe you do what you can to prevent an unsafe act. In my view, taking safety features like guides and things and not replacing them is creating potentially unsafe conditions for other people using the saw.

This kind of situation is similar in past episodes where i have tried to remedy problems and have a hard time letting them go. Other situations have involved leaving tools and other expensive items out in the yard instead of storing them thus letting them rust and be ruined. Another is not putting things back where they are stored. i feel that whoever took the items and left them out were plainly careless and thought Domina would be the one to communicate my concerns.

Her view is that i (sissy girl) is no better than anyone else.

i find it quite frustrating not being able to find things i need to use to get the job at hand done.

i think i am being concerned and bringing things up to improve things but as it is they have been the stuff of arguments. Its hard to let go when i am trying to make a point.

i am going to therapy and this week to a psychiatrist for medication management because i have had "rages" in the past. Today i wouldn't call it a rage but i need to understand better what is going on here and what to do.

Remember that this is a D/s Femdom Poly family. i'm not sure if it matters. i think a lot of the situation can be related to most any type of family unit or organization.

Thank you

sissy girl

Today Nov 13 2008

Today went a lot better than yesterday. Domina and i talked about yesterday's drama. Some things are really clear. Pandora's box is open and it ain't closing. i asked what isn't. Domina said everything. me being a girl. cuckolding. Domina playing with others and all. It is one of those things that you fantasize about it. You might experience it and then at some point you think, "really".

i shaved my legs and everything else this morning after i vacuumed Domina's house. She texted me to have the playroom cleaned up since Her boyfriend was coming over for play. Today is his 2 month anniversary with U/us. he is leaving for an adventure out of the country tomorrow i think. When i was getting dressed he was laying on Domina's bed next to Her. She told him that i have to wear training bra's (sports bras) except when boy-child was around.

i kissed Her and went on errands. i stopped at the bank for a deposit and then to the hardware store to get a key made for bear. Then i had to drop off a package at the UPS store. Finally i stopped at Hyvee where i paid a utility bill and picked up fix-ins for tonights chicken noodle soup. Domina told me that leopet wasn't feeling to well and home made chicken noodle soup usually helps.

i got home and saw that bear's truck was still parked by O/our house. i went upstairs to the playroom where i heard Domina talking about me and last night. Its really a strange experience hearing ones Mistress Wife talking about things like that but actually i still feel a bit numb to it all.

i put the groceries away and then i thought i would look for Domina's case for Her new Instinct phone since She lost it the other day. i wound up my battery-less flashlight for a few minutes and then went out to the garage to Her car. As soon as i opened the door there it was! Right there on the console. i put it in my pocket and went back inside.

i started making the soup when Domina came down in Her new silky red PJ's. i told Her i got Her something and asked Her to close Her eyes and put out Her hands. i put the phone case in Her hands and She lept with joy. W/we have been looking for it every where!

i asked Her if She marked bear with the henna She had me buy yesterday. She had told me that She was going to mark him so he would always remember Her for the two weeks he will be gone. She told me it was actually for me. wow! She plans on doing some art or words or something on me. She reminded me that yesterday didn't go so good.

W/we went down to the living room and watched some tv. W/we had dinner and then Domina turned it early. She was so tired.

It was a much better day today. i made an appointment to see a psychiatrist in a week for medication management as my therapist recommended. i think things will really come around.

sissy girl

Real life Nov 12 2008

What a tough day. Its really hard to admit it but Domina and i fight from time to time. W/we both love the lifestyle so much. She, my Mistress and i Her sissygirl but things happen.

Domina works terrible hours for Her. She is up at 3:30am to be at work by 4. She comes home at 1pm and usually goes right to bed to sleep to 5 or 6pm. Then She wakes up and enjoys dinner and a few tv shows then She is back to bed at 8 or 9pm for Her "Me" time.

Today while Domina was at work i hung some shelves and was getting a shopping list together for after She came home. Domina came home tired. As usual i greeted Her at the door and followed Her to Her bedroom to make sure She had everything She needed and to ask Her a question before i left. She kissed me and abruptly shooe'd me out of the room telling me She was very tired and just wanted Me time before i could ask the question and i felt bit bad about it. i got to the bottom of the stairs and heard Her talking to someone. i went back upstairs and saw She was all smiles and talking on the phone to Her boyfriend. i left and thought about it while i zipped from place to place picking things up for Her.

Later i thought i would approach Her with my feelings but somehow She turned it around to how She felt and all. i really got frustrated about it all. i just wanted to let Her know that i felt i should be able to express my feelings when i'm hurt. i ended up leaving the house for a long drive to cool down.

i drove all around the city and stopped at McDonalds knowing that my family was having pizza at home. i thought Domina would appreciate that i got out to cool down. i got home after 9pm and found Her still awake. W/we talked about the earlier fight and i tried as humbly as i could to tell Her how i felt but She took it as i was finding Her such a terrible person.

Tension has been up there because i have been unemployed for some time now and although i have been to many interviews nothing has surfaced.

Right now i don't feel too submissive and certainly not too girlie. i told Domina that i might cut my hair and get the first job i can get so i could stop the tension. She told me that i will always be what i am.

Domina told me that i should chat with Mistress's and other sissies online about it all but really i don't chat with people like that. i have always wanted to hold Domina up on a pedestal because She is my Mistress and my Goddess. Things are usually very good but in times like this its pretty tough for me.

i agreed a few weeks ago to see a therapist because Domina felt that i get angry and upset about relatively little matters. She calls them rages. i have seen the therapist a couple times and mostly we are getting acquainted. i have been totally up front with her about O/our lifestyle and all.

Why am i blogging this all. Maybe to let you know that the lifestyle W/we are living is real. Things aren't always so beautiful and girlie. W/we all like jamie more than james but its difficult to not be able to be open and expressive with one's Mistress/Wife without an argument ensuing.

i would appreciate some guidance.

sissy girl

sissy girl's updates Nov 11th 2008

Last Saturday Domina and i went out and about shopping. W/we went to Joanns, Hobby Lobby and Walmart. W/we got home and Her sub boyfriend soon came. he brought some beer and steaks. Domina and he were laying on the futon in front of the TV for awhile watching shows. Domina then told us to put on the steaks so we did. During dinner i sat next to Domina eating my steak while W/we watched the new DVD W/we got, "Get Smart". i thought it was pretty good. bear, Her boyfriend has had insomina lately and looking over at him i saw he was dozing on the couch. Domina was dozing too sitting next to me. Soon he came over and told me he was going down to the basement bedroom to go to bed. After awhile Domina woke up and asked where he was. i told Her. She went down to him and was there for awhile. i went down there to see if W/we were all going to play because She had planned on that. i saw T/they were playing there in the dark on the bed. Domina told me to go put on something pretty and that T/they were going to come up to play when the movie was over.

The movie ended and Domina and Her boyfriend came up. i looked over and saw he was naked laying on the futon. Domina told me to put on a Femdom DVD. W/we were watching it and soon She was playing with him stroking his man cock. i came over and She got on top riding him. That is always so hot watching my Mistress Wife and real men playing. Soon She told him that he was going to suck my clit. She told me to sit on his chest and he took it and started sucking. i couldn't see Her but knew She was having fun with his cock. Suddenly i felt my clit getting ready to cum but i pulled out and grabbed it almost crying. i soon realized i had a bit of a ruined orgasm. Very soon after Her boyfriend came in Her. She then laid down and told me to get a washcloth. i did and She cleaned Herself off as well as Her boyfriend.

Domina then told me i had the choice of sleeping at the foot of Her bed or down there on the futon. i chose the futon because i usually take naps there. Domina and he then went up to Her bedroom for the night. i got on my computer for awhile and then went to bed on the futon. i was so tired at that time that i went right to sleep but woke up at about 3:30am with crazy thoughts going through my mind. Thoughts about what is exclusive in O/our relationship now that Domina is sleeping with someone else. Thoughts about Her wanting to take trips with him on some of his adventures, etc. i certainly had some of those pangs of angst that cuckolded husbands do have.

i went back to sleep and woke up at about 9am and went upstairs. Her boyfriend had left and went to McDonalds for coffee and had returned. i went up to Domina's bedroom and found Her awake. She asked me how i slept and i told Her while i was using the bathroom. i soon came to Her bed and W/we talked about it all while She was playing with my clit. She told me that She sees me as an important part of Her family but cannot call me a husband because i am not a man. Husbands are men. She sees me more like a girlfriend or wife. She told me that She has come to enjoy cuckolding. She also said that She feels its right for Her to share adventures with Her boyfriend. Why not take opportunities like that? She does see O/our day to day relationship as exclusive to U/us. i left Her bed feeling a good peace.

The rest of the day i felt so tired. It was great sleeping in Domina's bed again that evening.

Today i met Domina at a local Starbucks where She was meeting a friend of a friend who wanted to learn about how to talk dirty in sex. i was introduced as jamie, Domina's husband. A transexual. T/they talked awhile and soon Domina told me She wanted to talk to her privately so i was dismissed. i then went to the local Salvation Army store and did some clothes shopping. Soon Domina joined me and W/we picked out alot of pretty clothes together. Afterwards i went to the grocery store and picked up tonights dinner.

sissy girl

Friday's here! Nov 7 2008

It has been a nice week. Domina's boyfriend bear came over Wednesday and T/they played. he is going on one of his adventures out of the country and i know Domina is going to miss him. Actually W/we all will. he is really a great guy. Before Domina said She didn't really like calling him Her boyfriend because he is a sub and She sees all of us as equals but in our own capacities to Her. The relationship though looks and seems more like a Mistress and sub boyfriend and She knows that it is more titillating to me, Her sissy cuckold slave so She will allow it.

i asked Domina how She sees me the other evening. She said, "I don't see you as My husband because that would mean that you are a male, which you aren't. But more as a close girlfriend or wife". i don't know why but reminding myself of what i am and hearing it from my Owner is quite a turn on to me.

On Wednesday also, Domina's friend came over and we did another photoshoot. Everything i wore was different than before. It went much like before where he sucked my clitty from time to time. he really wanted me to cum in his mouth but Domina and i talked about it before hand and it just wasn't right for Her sissy cuckold girl to do that especially without Her there.

Last night Domina's laptop's battery quit charging and it put U/us in a bit of a frenzy. i found that the battery was at the end of its life so i ordered another one hopefully to arrive in a couple days. The jack is a little quirky too so i might have to tear it apart.

Today i am taking Her boy to karate where he will be getting with his sister to take for the weekend. So this is an all girl weekend for me. Domina's boyfriend will be over tomorrow and of course leopet will be here for play. It will be exciting seeing Her together again with bear.

Today also little j will be over to play with Domina. i think its pretty wild having a Mistress Wife who enjoys playing with these real men.

sissy girl

Beautiful weekend! Nov 3 2008

Saturday morning bear arrived at about 9:15am and Domina and he left in his SUV to travel to a park about two hours from here. This is the first time Domina has gone with a man like that. Of course this further demonstrated the fact that i am Her sissy slave cuckold girl but mostly it was a chance to give Domina a rest from the everyday routines W/we live. After T/they left i was on my computer for awhile and then went out to the yard and did some yard work with the boy. leopet had to work for awhile that morning.

After the yard work i went up and took my shower and shaved my legs, clitty, sissy balls, pits, ass, and face, put on my eyeliner and mascara, face powder, lipstick (pink) and put on my feminine low belly jeans, plum ladies blouse and a denim shirt. i also wore my Lady's tennis shoes. By then leopet had come home. we all left and went down to Overland Park and went to the Microcenter there where i purchased some more ram for my computer (with Domina's approval), a larger SD card for the camera, a game for the boy and some other things.

we had lunch at Sonic and then went to Target where i bought some Lady razors, shampoo and conditioner.

we continued to the grocery store where i bought some steaks and other things.

we came home. i was on my computer for awhile when i got a call from Domina telling me that T/they were on the way home. She later called and said that T/they stopped at an adult novelty store where bear bought a remote control vibrating egg. he thought it was for her but instead Domina had him put it in his ass and She controlled it all the way home. She told me to have dinner ready by the time T/they got home and to have the playroom open because T/they were going to go straight up there.

i made all the preparations. Domina and bear arrived home and went straight up to the playroom where T/they played for awhile. i had dinner ready. When T/they came out bear was really exhausted and said his goodbyes. Domina said he was so over stimulated he just couldn't cum.

W/e had dinner and watched a few clips of Saturday night live on Domina's computer. W/we aren't going to have the tv working til hopefully today when the replacement lamp arrives. W/we enjoyed the clips but Domina was so tired. She and leopet went to his room to sleep. i cleaned up the kitchen. After awhile Domina went to Her own bed since Her legs were over active from all the exercise. She then went to sleep.

Sunday
i woke up and heard Domina and leopet downstairs. T/they then came upstairs and went to his room. Later Domina came out while i was down in the office and said T/they were fooling around with the egg, making out and She said She rode leopet like a pony for awhile.

W/we got cleaned up and went out shopping all over the place. W/we went to Toys r Us where leopet surprised Domina by buying the Wii Fit for O/our Wii for Christmas. W/we went to Target where i got hair color and a new hair dryer since mine was broke. W/we went to Walmart to look for glasses. i have an appointment Tuesday for glasses. i am planning on getting Lady's George brand glasses with half rims that features magnetic sunglass attachments.

W/we also had dinner at an all you can eat restaurant. W/we went to Sally's Beauty supply where Domina got some red hair color. W/we also got an account card there and now i have it on my key-chain, yaaaaay!.

Finally W/we all came home. Domina and leopet crashed for awhile. Later i gave Domina a foot massage and painted Her toes while W/we watched "Desperate Housewives". When i finished i joined Domina on Her bed while W/we watched "Brothers and Sisters". She was so tired She said She had to go to sleep.

i went downstairs to the office and did my thing for awhile then went to bed.

What a nice weekend!

sissy girl