Difficult questions Nov 17 2008

For the last couple weeks i have been working on Domina's laptop. First, i found that the battery was at the end of its life and would not charge anymore. i also found that the power adapter was not making a good connection in the computer and discovered that the jack was bad.

i was working on Her computer on the floor of my office because i really didn't have a better place to work on it. W/we have been planning to make/get a workbench for the office sometime. A couple days ago i asked leopet if he could build one similar to Domina's. Yesterday W/we all went to Home Depot to get the material for it. Last night leopet built it.

Today i finished the workbench by cutting the 2x4s and peg board for it. i felt nervous using the table saw because some of the safety features namely guides and such were missing.

Domina called from work and said She was coming down with a cold or something. i do know how that feels! i got Her some Vicks Nyquil in softgels because She doesn't like liquid and had them on Her night stand.

Domina came home from work and said i did a good job on the backing for the bench and noted the colors etc.

i followed Her up to Her bedroom to make sure She had the medication etc. Then...

i told Her i was nervous using the table saw with the safety attachments missing. i guess i intended to tell Her and thought She would tell leopet to gather them together but it became another argument.

Domina feels that She point out/correct, etc an adult when they create or might commit an unsafe act. i have been trained and brought up to believe you do what you can to prevent an unsafe act. In my view, taking safety features like guides and things and not replacing them is creating potentially unsafe conditions for other people using the saw.

This kind of situation is similar in past episodes where i have tried to remedy problems and have a hard time letting them go. Other situations have involved leaving tools and other expensive items out in the yard instead of storing them thus letting them rust and be ruined. Another is not putting things back where they are stored. i feel that whoever took the items and left them out were plainly careless and thought Domina would be the one to communicate my concerns.

Her view is that i (sissy girl) is no better than anyone else.

i find it quite frustrating not being able to find things i need to use to get the job at hand done.

i think i am being concerned and bringing things up to improve things but as it is they have been the stuff of arguments. Its hard to let go when i am trying to make a point.

i am going to therapy and this week to a psychiatrist for medication management because i have had "rages" in the past. Today i wouldn't call it a rage but i need to understand better what is going on here and what to do.

Remember that this is a D/s Femdom Poly family. i'm not sure if it matters. i think a lot of the situation can be related to most any type of family unit or organization.

Thank you

sissy girl